Top Ways To Tell Your Date is Bat Shit Crazy!

First of all, let me preface this entry with the following statements.  I am attracted to emotionally damaged men.  It takes a lot, and I mean a lot to make me think you are bat shit crazy. As my good friend Julie said, "Crazy we can handle.  Throw in the bat shit and that's over the top." But for all my single pals out there, here are some clear indicators!

1. He becomes whiney and petulant when you suggest that you would like to continue to email/text/talk on the phone for another week before meeting and uses false flattery to coax you into date #1.  FYI, Eharmony warns against people who push you into meeting too soon, however, in need of an ego boost, I agreed to meet up.

2. You are deliberately evasive about what neighborhood you live in or where exactly you work.  You can't exactly put your finger on why, but it just seems like a safe bet.

3. He informs you that his most recent long term relationship ended in restraining orders.

4. He sees nothing wrong with sharing #3 with you.

5. After the date, that went extremely well despite the oversharing about the restraining orders, he proceeds to send texts that border on harrassing in their content and frequency.  For example, asking you to come over approximately 23 times in a 2 hour period.

6.  When told that the texts are making you uncomfortable he gets hostile and defensive.

7. The texts begin again the next day as if he doesn't remember the previous conversation.

8.  He suggests you need a drink and you tell him you only like to drink once or twice a week.  He says he drinks more than that. Oh yes, there was that shot of whiskey with his pasta at dinner, in additon to the 5 beers. You ask how much more, only to realize he has been drinking every day since you have started speaking to him.  This may explain why he doesn't remember the previous request to stop texting things that make you uncomfortable.

9.  You recall that he has told you that he's taking not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4 but 5 different medications that work to elevate his mood, eleviate anxiety and help him sleep.  Good idea to mix those with alcohol. I'm sure there are no adverse side effects from that.

10. Because you really, really want to believe the best and he does have some other really great qualities, but most importantly because you don't want to admit you picked Mr. Wacko, you once again tell him that you really are interested in getting to know him more but you need things to slow down and the tone of his texts need to change.  He responds with Fuck Off.  You're Mean.

And that my friends is how you can tell your date is Bat Shit Crazy.

Doing it the .com way....

Being 36 and single is easy. I like not having anyone to answer to.  I like being able to go where I want and not having to clear it with someone else.  I have my own money and I don't need yours. I like having the whole couch to myself and the remote too. I like folding my clothes 2 days after I get them out of the dryer. My dog sleeps on my bed.  Deal with it.  And I like eating an artichoke for dinner and ice cream for breakfast.  In hindsight, the ice cream for breakfast probably contributed to the 30lb weight gain so that was a mistake on my part, however that's a different blog topic. Anyway, I digress. Like I said, being alone is easy for me.  However, I've always thought that I would be a mom.  And for me being a mom means finding that one person that I want to start a family with. Yes, I know I can have a baby on my own.  Many women out there do.  I'm not sure I'm that woman though. So here I sit, someone who has perfected the art not needing anyone (like many of my 30 something counter parts) but quickly realizing that maybe I need to get serious about this.  So, what's a woman to do that is too old for the bar scene, and works 50 hours a week? Online dating of course!
This isn't the first time I've gone this route.  And interestingly enough, I was pretty successful at it.  I make a pretty decent first impression, I have no problem letting someone buy me dinner or drinks, and usually I got 2nd, 3rd, 4th or even a short term relationship out of the deal.  However, that was 4 years ago. I'm older now.  At least that's what EHarmony is telling me. Because even though I've adjusted my criteria, I'm still getting paired with men 10 to 12 years my senior.   They say they also take level of attractiveness into consideration when creating matches,  and even though I know that I have let some breakfast ice cream go to my thighs, and middle, I still think I'm pretty decent looking. EHarmony apparently does not share the view that I am still an attractive woman though because I have so far been paired with a pedophile looking/mustache wearing 50 year old, and a guy that can only be described as looking like Mary's retarded brother in the movie Something about Mary. And my matches are so intense. One of the questions is to name 3 things you are most thankful for.  I too am thankful for my vision so that I can take in a beautiful sunset and my hearing so that I can hear the sound of children laughing, but SERIOUSLY!?  I said white out.  You know why, because I freakin love white out! And because if you can't laugh at something like that, I don't want to date you!
Although EHarmony is proving to be a bit much for me, I'm not giving up! I'm actually just thinking it's time to play the odds so to speak and really put myself out there.  I've already posted on Match.com and I'm looking at a few others too. My dating debacles have been entertaining my married and single friends for years.  Last years relationship with my own personal Nigerian email scam being a prime example, as is the risotto incident of 2010. So I'm going to allow those of you who are interested share in the highs, the lows, the mustaches, the greasy gold chain wearing euro trash (that was today's Match.com selection) and maybe if I'm lucky we can find the man of my dreams.