Doing it the .com way....

Being 36 and single is easy. I like not having anyone to answer to.  I like being able to go where I want and not having to clear it with someone else.  I have my own money and I don't need yours. I like having the whole couch to myself and the remote too. I like folding my clothes 2 days after I get them out of the dryer. My dog sleeps on my bed.  Deal with it.  And I like eating an artichoke for dinner and ice cream for breakfast.  In hindsight, the ice cream for breakfast probably contributed to the 30lb weight gain so that was a mistake on my part, however that's a different blog topic. Anyway, I digress. Like I said, being alone is easy for me.  However, I've always thought that I would be a mom.  And for me being a mom means finding that one person that I want to start a family with. Yes, I know I can have a baby on my own.  Many women out there do.  I'm not sure I'm that woman though. So here I sit, someone who has perfected the art not needing anyone (like many of my 30 something counter parts) but quickly realizing that maybe I need to get serious about this.  So, what's a woman to do that is too old for the bar scene, and works 50 hours a week? Online dating of course!
This isn't the first time I've gone this route.  And interestingly enough, I was pretty successful at it.  I make a pretty decent first impression, I have no problem letting someone buy me dinner or drinks, and usually I got 2nd, 3rd, 4th or even a short term relationship out of the deal.  However, that was 4 years ago. I'm older now.  At least that's what EHarmony is telling me. Because even though I've adjusted my criteria, I'm still getting paired with men 10 to 12 years my senior.   They say they also take level of attractiveness into consideration when creating matches,  and even though I know that I have let some breakfast ice cream go to my thighs, and middle, I still think I'm pretty decent looking. EHarmony apparently does not share the view that I am still an attractive woman though because I have so far been paired with a pedophile looking/mustache wearing 50 year old, and a guy that can only be described as looking like Mary's retarded brother in the movie Something about Mary. And my matches are so intense. One of the questions is to name 3 things you are most thankful for.  I too am thankful for my vision so that I can take in a beautiful sunset and my hearing so that I can hear the sound of children laughing, but SERIOUSLY!?  I said white out.  You know why, because I freakin love white out! And because if you can't laugh at something like that, I don't want to date you!
Although EHarmony is proving to be a bit much for me, I'm not giving up! I'm actually just thinking it's time to play the odds so to speak and really put myself out there.  I've already posted on Match.com and I'm looking at a few others too. My dating debacles have been entertaining my married and single friends for years.  Last years relationship with my own personal Nigerian email scam being a prime example, as is the risotto incident of 2010. So I'm going to allow those of you who are interested share in the highs, the lows, the mustaches, the greasy gold chain wearing euro trash (that was today's Match.com selection) and maybe if I'm lucky we can find the man of my dreams.